Leave The Singing To Me!
by Master Fifer
Summary: Just some funny songs I was thinking of for some of the FMA characters. Enjoy. Includes Dante's Theme, the Gluttony Song Song, and more!
1. Chapter 1

These are just some random songs I was thinking of for some of the FMA characters. Turns out, some of them fit pretty well. (smiles) Enjoy.

I do not own FMA or Fairly Odd Parents.

Dedicated to Ed (LZN), Wrath (KCAV), and Pride (Sexy Spoons).

D A N T E

To the tune of Icky Vicky by Chip Skylark from the Fairly Odd Parents

Ed and Envy face their audience. Ed smiles and peace signs.

"Hello, and welcome to random singing… songs. Yeah. As you probably all know, we HATE Dante. So, to express our hate, anger, disturbance, … hate, and hate, we came up with this song for her. (clears throat)

D, A, N, T, E! The sound of her name makes the little kid screams! AHHHHH!

Hey granny, you have a big fanny! Just the thought of being around it makes me wanna scrammy!

Hey Dante, would you please explain why you get so much pleasure out of causing kids pain? (Flash back to her throwing a baby in the air) OH! OH! OH!

A lady who's just plain mean! No longer in her teens! She's an ancient old tortoise in Abercrombie!

Bitchy Dante! Ew, EW! Rotting Dante! Ew, EW! Cheating Dante! Ew, EW!

BITCHY DANTE!

(both bow)

"Thank you, thank you. We're here until Monday."

(No one claps)

Envy glares.

"Screw you all."

Sorry, the first one's a little short, but it gets better, I promise!

MF.


	2. Gluttony Song Song

This is one came to me while I was watching Ed and Al sing it on BTW: go there, it's an awesome site!

Gluttony Song Song

To the Tune of Spongebob's Campfire Song Song

Envy clears his throat.

"I like to call this the Gluttony Song Song. Ahem, let's gather 'round the fat one and sing our fatty song. Our G,L,U,T,T,O,N,Y S,O,N,G song. And if you don't think he can get much fatter then you're wrong, but it will help if you just sing along…

Ed steps into spotlight.

"Bum, bum, bum…."

" (faster) G,L,U,T,T,O,N,Y S,O,N,G song. G,L,U,T,T,O,N,Y S,O,N,G song. And if you don't think he can get much fatter then you're wrong, but it will help if you just sing along…

Ed struggles to keep up in the background.

"G,L,U- SONG! G,T,U,L,L SONG!"

"(faster) G,L,U,T,T,O,N,Y S,O,N,G song! G,L,U,T,T,O,N,Y S,O,N,G song! And if you don't think he can get much fatter then you're wrong, but it will help if you just sing along…! Take it Ed!"

"SONG GLUTT- SONG LLT SONG!"

"Wrath!"

"…"

"GOOD!"

Envy and Ed go into rock mode.

"IT WILL HELP, IT WILL HELP! IF YOU JUST SING ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!"

Both smash guitars.

"OH YEAH!"

Ed snaps his fingers, panting.

"Alright, we sang a song."

Ed collapses in a heap. Gluttony, meanwhile, looks on confused.

(grins evilly) I love me….

R&R, please! I think I'm going to have Lust's song be YMCA. (grins evilly again) Oh, yeah…Although I may have to change the rating for her song...


	3. LUST

Meh, Lust may get 2 chapters 'cause she has a variety of songs to choose from, but here ya go anyway!

Don't own, you know the drill.

To the Tune of "YMCA" by the Village People.

Ed scratches his head.

"You know, I really hate Lust."

Envy puts an arm around his shoulder.

"Everyone does, Edo. You're not alone."

"She inspired me to write this song."

Lights dim.

"Ahem…"

Young man, there's a need to feel down…

I said- young man you are now on the ground

I said- young man 'cause you're 'bout to be drowned

By a crazy phys-co-path!

Young man, there's a place you can go

I said- young man, find a woman you know

You can touch her, and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time (wink wink, nudge nudge)

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

She has everything, for young men to enjoy

She's a lot of fun for the boys!

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

You can get yourself laid!

You can get a free bra!

Just as long as you paaaaid!

Young man, are you listening to me!

I said- young man fulfill your fantasies!

I said- young man, you can make real dreams

But you've got to know this one thing…

No man, does "it" (wink wink) all by himself

Young man, put yourself on the shelf

And just go there, ask for L.U.S.T

I'm sure she can make you see

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

She has everything, for young men to enjoy

She's a lot of fun for the boys!

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

You can get yourself laid!

You can get a free bra!

Just as long as you paaaaid!

Young man, I wouldn't see her

Unless I had a bit of a slur

I feel- she is a bit of a bitch

And she will not scratch my "itch"

That's when, someone came up to me

And said young man, walk away from this street

There's a woman, called L.U.S.T

She will impale your poor spleen!

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

She has everything, for young men to enjoy

She's a lot of fun for the boys!

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

It's fun to sing about L.U.S.T

You can get yourself laid!

You can get a free bra!

Just as long as you paaaaid!

L.U.S.T!

L.U.S.T!

L.U.S.T!

L.U.S.T!

(fades out)

I kept some of the original lines 'cause they fit in so well! Hope that's not copyright infringement… shrugs Eh. R&R please! Oh, and when Ed said "he had to have a slur to see Lust" he meant he had to be pretty stinkin' drunk. Yepo.


	4. Author's Note

Hello, everyone. I apologize, but this is only an author note:

Yesterday, I took a bad spill off of my horse, and almost broke my shoulder and collarbone. It takes a lot to type, so don't expect a fast update to my stories. Again, I'm very sorry about this. My arm's in a sling, so I'm using mostly my left hand and picking with my right. It's funny though, 'cause now I realize how much I depend on my right hand and arm. (laughs) Anyway, take care everybody, and don't worry about me. I'll be back to normal in no time.

Fifer


End file.
